How Overworked Couples Can Beat Stress TogetherBook - 1998
I feel compassion and concern for her, but I keep hearing that I just don't communicate well. It's as though we are speaking different languages." --Jerry, an attorney
"Maybe I'm just too ambitious. Other people seem to be more content with less; I seem to be driven. And my family is telling me that they miss me." --Lois, a marketing executive.
"I'm lonely in this marriage." --Max, a sales rep
If any, or all, of these laments sound uncomfortably familiar, then your relationship probably suffers from what psychologist Wayne Sotile and marriage counselor Mary Sotile call "Supercouple Syndrome." A leading source of burnout, marital discord, and divorce, this malady is an all-too-common consequence of the '90s pursuit of the Big Life. It is the natural outgrowth of people's unrealistic determination to do everything right--to juggle marriage, family, and career, and be all things to all people. Now, in this groundbreaking book, the Sotiles show you and your partner how to beat stress, rekindle your passion for one another, and transform your relationship into the haven it was meant to be.
Drawing upon their nearly two decades of experience helping couples improve their relationships, the Sotiles explore the reasons why so many people nowadays get caught in the supercouple trap. Using real-life case studies, they show how many of the strategies people develop to be successful at work--staying in control, striving for perfection, maintaining a competitive edge--can wreak havoc on personal relationships. They also provide harrowing examples of how people who let their relationships take a backseat to their careers for too long usually wind up drained, burnt out, and even downsized.
Most importantly, this sanity-saving book arms you with action steps for revitalizing your relationship. Wayne and Mary outline their BEating Stress Together (BEST) program, a simple, effective program that has been used by more than 5,000 couples to transform their relationships from sources of stress into sources of empowerment.
Don't sacrifice your happiness in pursuit of the good life. Let Supercouple Syndrome show you how to make your relationship work for you.
"Eloquently describes the curse of the modern-day 'supercouple'--striving to survive and thrive in a crazy world. Insightful and refreshing."--Lori Heyman Gordon, Ph.D. Founder of PAIRS (Practical Applications of Intimate Relationship Skills) Author of Love Knots, Passage to Intimacy, and If You Really Loved Me Two Jobs, two Kids, too Much?
You put 100% of yourself into everything you do, so why can't you seem to find balance in your life? You know what your responsibilities are and wouldn't think of shirking them, so how come nobody seems to appreciate you? You love your family and do all you can to provide for them, so why do your kids seem so remote? . . . And, can you remember the last time you made love to your partner?
Marriage should be one of life's great joys, not a source of stress and unhappiness. It should be a safe haven where you can unwind and be your true self with the one who knows you best. It should be a source of strength, and love, and yes, fun. By following the BEating Stress Together (BEST) program outlined in this book, your marriage can be all those good things, and more.
Developed by psychologist Wayne Sotile and marriage counselor Mary Sotile and used to successfully treat more than 5,000 ailing relationships, the BEST program will help you beat stress and rekindle the passion in your relationship. Filled with lively true stories and easy-to-do exercises, Supercouple Syndrome is a much-needed road map for today's stressed-out supercouples.